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absolutely truth and nothing but the truth!

 

 

 

 

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS  
 
Smart man + smart woman = romance 

Smart man + dumb woman = affair 

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage 

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy 

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SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need. 

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HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand

him a lot and love him a little.  

To be happy with a woman,

you must love her a lot and

not try to understand her at all. 

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LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do,

but married men are a lot more willing to die... 
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PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change,

but he doesn't. 

A man marries a woman expecting

that she won't change, and she does. 
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DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument. 

Anything a man says after that is the

beginning of a new argument. 

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HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING

YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED 

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me

in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."

They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.