DISTRACTIONS

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zephyr 2011. 8. 29. 22:54

absolutely truth and nothing but the truth!

 

 

 

 

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS  
 

Smart man + smart woman = romance
 

Smart man + dumb woman = affair
 

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
 

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
 

______________________________
 

SHOPPING MATH


A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
 

_____________________________
 
 

_____________________ 

HAPPINESS


To be happy with a man, you must understand

him a lot and love him a little.  

To be happy with a woman,

you must love her a lot and

not try to understand her at all. 

______________________________  


LONGEVITY


Married men live longer than single men do,

but married men are a lot more willing to die... 
______________________________
 
 

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE


A woman marries a man expecting he will change,

but he doesn't. 

A man marries a woman expecting

that she won't change, and she does. 
_____________________________
 


DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE


A woman has the last word in any argument.
 

Anything a man says after that is the

beginning of a new argument. 

_____________________________

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING

YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED 

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me

in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."

They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
 
 

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