absolutely truth and nothing but the truth!
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
______________________________SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
_____________________________
_____________________
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understandhim a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman,you must love her a lot and
not try to understand her at all.
______________________________
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do,but married men are a lot more willing to die...
______________________________
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change,but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expectingthat she won't change, and she does.
_____________________________
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is thebeginning of a new argument.
_____________________________HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING
YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking mein the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."
They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
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