Men are happier people

 

Men Are Just Happier People   NICKNAMES  ·        If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.  ·        If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, dumbass and moron.    EATING OUT  ·        When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50.  None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.  ·        When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.    MONEY  ·        A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.  ·        A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.    BATHROOMS  ·        A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.  ·        The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.  A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.    ARGUMENTS  ·        A woman has the last word in any argument.  ·        Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.    FUTURE  ·        A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.  ·        A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.    SUCCESS  ·        A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.  ·        A successful woman is one who can find such a man.    MARRIAGE  ·        A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.  ·        A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.    DRESSING UP  ·        A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.  ·        A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.    NATURAL  ·        Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.  ·        Women somehow deteriorate during the night.    OFFSPRING  ·        Ah, children.  A woman knows all about her children.  She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.  ·        A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.      THOUGHT FOR THE DAY  A married man should forget his mistakes.  There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!      SO, send this to the women who have a sense of humor and who can handle it .... and to the men who will enjoy reading it.