The Costa Concordia

No Offence...Enjoy The Humour !!!

 

It had to happen!!

Some smart cookie out there came up with this humour so fast....

What a guy !!!

 

 

What kind of desserts do they serve on Italian cruise ships?

Turnovers

 

How do they serve alcoholic drinks on Italian cruise ships?

On the rocks

 

What vegetables do you get with dinner on Italian cruise ships?

Leeks

 

What's the fastest way to get off an Italian cruise ship?

Follow the captain

 

When the Italian cruise ship the Costa Concordia started to sink there was a frantic push to get on the lifeboats. Of course this made it easy to spot the British passengers who had formed an orderly queue.

 

Italian cruise ships rock!

 

Italian divers searching the stricken cruise ship have found two Scotsmen

at the bar.

They've told the divers to fuck off, they're all inclusive.

 

When the captain of the ill fated Costa Concordia was asked if he knew

where he was going he replied

"off course"

 

I was watching the news about the stricken cruise ship when the Sky News presenter said, "She's lying on her side with a gash the size of a tennis court."

I just happened to glance over at the wife on the sofa and that's how it all started !

 

The Italian army has been called in to help with the people from the grounded cruise ship.

But they have now swapped sides and have declared war on the survivors.

 

A guy walks into a model shop.

"Do you have an aircraft carrier?" he asks.

"I sold out before Christmas," the shopkeeper replies.

"Have you got a battle ship?"

"No," said the shopkeeper.

"What have you got in ships?"

"I will go and look in the store room, just wait a minute."

The shopkeeper came back and said, "I have got a Cruise Liner."

"Can you put it to one side please.

 

I would have loved to see the look on the face of the search & rescue dog, after it crawled through the wreck of the Costa Concordia only to find itself in

a cabin with two Koreans.

 

Italian Police are still interviewing the Korean Honeymoon couple found on the Costa Concordia as to the whereabouts of the rescue dog that first found them.

 

Costa Concordia - the only place where you are guaranteed to get your drink on the rocks.

 

What's the difference between the Italian economy and the stricken cruise liner Costa Concordia?

Nothing - The bottoms dropped out of both.

 

Now I know it's the 100th anniversary of Titanic and all that but aren't the Italians going a bit far with their tribute?

 

The captain of the Costa Concordia says he is not guilty of manslaughter,

and has witnesses to prove he was nowhere near the passengers who died.

 

The Costa Concordia is probably the most expensive thing to go down in Italy since Berlusconi's last hooker.

 

I've just bought a Costa Concordia lotto ticket. Fingers crossed it's not another roll over next week...

 

So the captain of the Costa Concordia will soon be in the dock.

That's more than can be said for his ship.

 

FOR SALE:  one second-hand Italian cruise ship. Modern spacious fully-functioning and luxurious.

Only known fault: sat nav unreliable. Open to offers, buyer collects.

 

It's not all bad news for the captain of the Costa Concordia. He may never captain a ship again, but the Navy have expressed an interest in giving him command of a submarine.