Just for laughs

Just read that 4,153,237 people got married
last year, not to cause any trouble but shouldn't

that be an even number?
 
Today a man knocked on my door and
asked for a small donation towards the local

swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
 
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me 

unattractive, they would eventually find me
attractive.
 
I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and
blue stand for freedom until they are flashing

behind you.
 
When wearing a bikini, women reveal

90% of their body... men are so polite they
only look at the covered parts.
 
Relationships are a lot like algebra.

Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
 
America is a country which produces citizens
who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy

but won't cross the street to vote.
 
You know that tingly little feeling you get

when you like someone?

That's your common sense leaving your body.
 
Did you know that dolphins are so smart
that within a few weeks of captivity, they can
train people to stand on the very edge of the pool

and throw them fish?
 
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with

vengeance.  We'll see about that.
 
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's 

been googling my name on her computer.
I saw it through my telescope last night.
 
Money talks. but all mine ever says is good-bye.
 
You're not fat, you're just... easier to see.
 
If you think nobody cares whether you're alive,

try missing  a couple of payments.