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Witticisms:       It 's not whether you win or lose,  but how you place the blame.   You are not drunk  if you can lie on the floor  without holding on.   We have enough youth. How about a fountain of "smart"?       The original point and click interface  was a Smith & Wesson.   A fool and his money can throw one heck of a party.   when blondes have more fun do they know it?     Five days a week my body is a temple.  The other two it's an amusement park.   LEARN FROM YOUR PARENTS' MISTAKES USE BIRTH CONTROL   Money isn't everything,  but it sure keeps the kids in touch.   If at first you don't succeed  skydiving is not for you..   Reality is only an illusion  that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.   Time's fun when you're having flies. .....Kermit the Frog   We are born naked, wet and hungry.  Then things get worse.   Red meat is not bad for you Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.   Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers  give the rest a bad name..   <> One good thing about Alzheimer's is  you get to meet new people every day.   Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge  to produce reproductive organs.   Alabama state motto:  At least we're not Mississippi   ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS NO  MATCH FOR NATURAL STUPIDITY.   The latest survey shows that  three out of four people make  up 75% of the population   Congressmen should wear uniforms like NASCAR drivers so we could identify their corporate sponsors.